When I was in my early teens, the US was going through a recession.  Some of my friends' dads lost their jobs and the economy got pretty rough for a while.  I guess this was in the late 1980's and very early 1990's. 

My dad even lost a job or two during this period, but I never really noticed.  Maybe Christmas was a bit smaller a couple of years, or mom and dad let my shoes last a couple of months longer before buying new.  I'm not really sure, because I just didn't notice it.

But now, I'm a grown-up.  I'm closing in on 33 years, and it's unsettling.  I have a beautiful wife who loves me, and three great kids.  And I am very, very blessed.  So please don't think that I'm complaining.  I'm actually very grateful.  But I'm also unsettled...

Recently, some friends of mine have lost their jobs.  They are worried about their homes, healthcare, and how to provide for their families.  My workplace has cut several jobs - and while mine is safe for now - there are no guarantees.  It is tough sledding out there for many people.  And while it didn't seem to impact me much as a kid - the current state of things has gotten my attention.

Now that I'm grown, I notice these things.  Sadly, I notice other things about this world...

• I notice how often people get divorced who appear on the surface to have the "perfect marriage."
• I notice how people who drive fancy cars and have big homes often don't have real money, but just bought it all on credit.
• I notice how many "well-adjusted" children come from really screwed up parents.
• I notice how so many people put their faith in politics and people of power - when the powerful and politics are constantly changing.
• I notice how many people in the USA are complaining about their financial situation and losing 30% in the stock market - but children in Africa and South America don't have basic food, water, or shelter.

But then...I also notice some things about me...

• I notice how so many of the dreams I had as a boy have died a slow death by my own hand.
• I notice how even with Facebook, Myspace, Email, and Cell phones - I still am terrible at communicating and maintaining relationships.
• I notice how often my Bible sits on the shelf collecting dust - while I have worn out the buttons on the TV remote control.
• I notice how badly I feel sometimes and how my pants are too tight - but I won't quit eating ice cream or take a few minutes to excercise each day.
• I notice how kindly I treat strangers and acquaintances - but how harshly I sometimes treat my family.
• I notice how even the few things in my life that are going well and I do have under control - I somehow use as justification to judge other people.
• I notice how often I let other people think the best of me - and how hard I work to hide the parts they wouldn't be so impressed with.
• I notice how often I allow myself to get by with the mediocre...I just settle for less.  And it's unsettling.

You're saying to yourself... "Man, I wished I hadn't clicked his blog today.  This is really depressing."

But there's more to the story...so read on.

You see, I saw the LORD today.  I went looking and I found Him.  No - I didn't see tears on some statue, and I wasn't blinded by a light on the Damascus road.  But I saw the LORD.  A glimpse really.  I witnessed an act of selfless compassion today - very simple and common.  But I saw Jesus help this lady to her car.  It wasn't just a man.  I saw the LORD.  I saw His heart for people.  

And like the prophet Isaiah, I was undone...or maybe, unsettled.  In Isaiah 6, he tells of his glimpse of the LORD.  He sees God, seated on His throne.  And immediately, Isaiah sees himself for what he really is.  

In verse 5, he cries out "Woe is me, for I am undone.  I am a man of unclean lips...."  

And then it hit me.

When we get a glimpse of the LORD and see Him for who He really is...then, and only then...can we see ourselves for who we really are.

That's why I noticed all of these things today.  I saw the LORD.  But praise to Him that the story doesn't stop here.  God has called us a different name, and He has given us a new identity.  His word says so!!!

We are who God says we are.  While I noticed all of those things about myself - that is just my flesh.  The heart of me...the one Jesus died to save...is a new and different heart.  While my flesh is very real - my heart is even more real - it's eternal.  So today, I will crucify this flesh and I will deny the lies of the Enemy.  And I will take hold of my salvation in the fullness of God's promise.  

So, while His light will always expose the weaknesses of my flesh and the sorry state of the world around me...His truth will remind me that I am more than the sum of my parts.  I am exactly who He says I am.  My flesh will not define me.

So this is my prayer tonight...  

"God help me - to see You more clearly so that I can honestly see these failures of my flesh.  And let me ever praise Your kindness that leads me to repentence.  And grow me in the knowledge of who You are - so I can better understand this new heart You have given.  And let me see and know the full promise of Your salvation - abundant life that can only be found in an intimate walk with You.  In the name of Jesus, whom the angels praise...Amen!"  

 

 

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